Soon After Emily and Henry used fly spray on the cocoon it started to crumble and then crack then all of a sudden boom boom it burst open.and up into the air went a beautiful butterfly with black and blue wings a black body and a beautiful face with long black hair and she said to Henry and Emily come on let's go and have some fun and you can call me Marry I had to get old to try this experiment so i waited and waited wanting to tell you that I was only grumpy because I had to wait so long to finally look beautiful again so I am so sorry that I was so mean to you here is some gifts to make up for what I did to you.”Oh thank you so much mrs anderson i forgive you”Said emily and henry said “thank you mrs anderson for your Kindness.
Hi Maya, I like that you have made it a happy ending, I wonder if you would be able to add any adverbs, like we discussed in our reading group to describe the way that some of the characters moved or talked?
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Hi Maya - I love all the beautiful words you used to describe this butterfly. I liked also that you put noise into it by using bold text. What it would be good to see next is the editing. Full stops and capital letters etc....Mumso Evans
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