Showing posts with label descriptive writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label descriptive writing. Show all posts
Thursday, 7 July 2016
Monday, 2 May 2016
Charlie's Dear Diary
This is my Dear diary from world war one.This is what I think diary's in world war one were like
Dear diary,
Today has been quite exciting but shocking actually. It was me and the lads first day training and seeing our trenches. Training was fun. I got to hold my rifle for the first time! The trenches were worse than I expected them to be. I know they're trenches but I thought we would have our own space. The officers laughed shamefully at me when I asked for more food. The food is absolutely horrible. Getting decent hot food from the field kitchens to the front line trenches could be impossible. All I really had today was canned meat called bully beef, If you have a go at eating it in the trenches you’d have to dodge the mouthful of flies.The meat was was making my mouth go warm with a hard chewy texture in my mouth.). Though this is my first day so I can't really complain. I would explain my day to day routine but I've forgot most of it. We basically have to wake up an hour before sun up and some of my mates today were taught how to do patrols.One of my friends is a signaller. Most old soldiers will know what this is. Bayonet drills, bombing practice, in short, all those exercises which were supposed to make an efficient soldier. He began to regret this. I can understand how he must've felt. Then we had breakfast and did our chores. To be honest we haven't done much today anyway.At last, the battle has ended, with 5800 troops (a third) killed on the first day. Our total losses were 420000, the French had 200 000 casualties, while the Germans had 500000. I did not think that the battle was a success. It definitely wasn't worth the effort and the casualties but I've survived! However, I can't just keep thinking things are going to be ok. Word has gone around the trenches that there will be another battle in Picardy (France) in about 2 weeks time. It can't be as worse as the Somme. Can it? They should give us a break. It's hard dealing with war anyway and now they're putting us through that all again. Everyone keeps telling me I'm really lucky and all that rubbish but sometimes I wish I was dead.. With my mates then I know I wouldn't have died alone I can't believe I'm saying this but I wish I never joined the army. Those posters were nothing but lies. I wish I was back home to my family and not in this ghastly place. I can feel it will get much more worse. This is only the first day anyway.
Labels:
Anzac,
Charlie,
descriptive writing,
Pukekos
Thursday, 14 April 2016
Time of war!
My Anzac recount
This is a recount as if I was at the war at Gallipoli. This is my 2nd task to do for our Anzac activities. I think I could have improved more on showing and not telling, because it was really hard to do that. One sentence where I 'showed' really well was where I wrote, "I felt like I was trapped in a pitch black room," because instead of saying I felt really scared and angry, then that would be telling. I also did well at describing the scene at the beginning.
25.04.1915
Time of war!
The time has finally come. Me and the other troops were going to a battle at Gallipoli I have been writing in this diary on the boat about what each day felt away from home.Suddenly I felt scared, because we were there at Gallipoli, but still a bit far away that's, because we had to walk there. The real danger has come. I smelt the sea water as I jumped out, the water was up to my thigh. I could hear the bullets as it flew past, I couldn’t hear that well afterwards. Finally, we reached our destination, Suddenly, I felt like I was trapped in a pitch black room. I could see the Humongous cliff with our enemies on top. I ran as fast as I could to get cover, and then I found a little wooden boat. Suddenly someone told me to come with them, so I went then I found this long trench, so I ran and jumped and landed nicely I also saw some of my mates. A streak of light went passed me. I realized that was a bullet so I quickly went a little bit deeper into the trench. I saw a lot of people that passed away at the no-man's-land. The gunshot sounds were starting to fade away. I heard my tummy rumbling. The smoke smelt strong. The ringing in my ears was deafening, so they had to scream so I could hear. It was begging to get dark and I felt tired, so I made a bed then I slept. This was my first day of war!
Labels:
Anzac,
descriptive writing,
Gallipoli,
show not tell
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